Some strategies that have worked well for my wife and myself when we’ve argued or resolved conflicts:
- Began listening with the intention of understanding rather than proving one another incorrect.
Develop your ability to empathise, act as a mirror, and paraphrase in order to become a better listener in your relationship. However, being a skilled speaker is also crucial.
Relationships can be drastically changed by active listening. But what makes a good listener, and how can you and your partner communicate more effectively?
Being able to listen intently to one another without “building a counterargument in your head” is the cornerstone of effective communication.
2. To be sympathetic instead of defensive.
Resolving old hurts, expressing yourself, and engaging in active listening are all ways to improve your empathy in a relationship. However, there are times when you might want expert assistance.
Being sympathetic to your partner in every circumstance or moment may not come easily to you. However, empathetic behaviour in partnerships might be what keeps them intact.
3. Establish limits and refrain from crossing them. (No yelling, insults, or profanity) and using appropriate language and tone when conversing with one another.
When you hear the word “boundaries,” you might picture walls dividing you from other people. Well, that’s accurate in a way. However, limits aren’t always a terrible thing. In actuality, they’re a crucial component of wholesome, harmonious partnerships. They’re also essential to preserving your physical, mental, and identity well-being.
Physical limitations are one type of boundary. For example, you may ask your wife/husband or partner to refrain from looking through your phone or from interfering with your work when you’re working from home. They can also be psychological, such as asking your partner to acknowledge that sometimes your aspirations and goals won’t align with theirs.
4. To think more clearly in the heat, remain composed and silent.
Repetitive and uncontrolled anger is not a smart strategy to ensure long-term happiness with your partner. The last thing you want to do is undermine your partner’s confidence in your ability to exercise good judgement and self-control, harm the sense of security in your relationship, or destroy mutual respect and trust.
Unchecked anger is neither attractive nor intelligent nor emotionally or physically safe. If your relationship is suffering because of your anger, it’s time to take control of your anger and make things better.
5. Being responsible. We both ask for forgiveness when we are in error, and we also extend it quickly.
Accepting responsibility for your acts and how they impact other people is the practice of accountability in relationships.
Accountable individuals recognise how their actions affect their spouse or partners, either favourably or unfavourably, and adjust their behaviour accordingly to preserve a happier, more cooperative relationship. Accountability is a fundamental component of friendships, familial ties, and romantic relationships.
In order to prevent regretting our actions towards our spouse following disagreements, we must adopt some healthy habits. Avoid things like Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, Anxious avoidance, and so on.
Additionally, remember these points at all times when having disagreements.
i. At all costs, keep your marriage safe.
ii. Your partner is not an adversary.
iii. It’s the two of you and the issue.
iv. Embrace over ego
